When It Rains
by Her Name Is Erika
Summary: The first sound Kyle hears is the light impact of many raindrops hitting his bedroom window. Then he remembers with a sick feeling in his stomach: his mother is gone forever and his life is suddenly on pause.


**When It Rains**  
><strong>Show:<strong> Young & The Restless  
><strong>Central Character(s):<strong> Kyle Jenkins Abbott, Diane Jenkins, Jack Abbott  
><strong>Rating:<strong> G, for sad & tear-jerking situations.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> The first sound Kyle hears is the light impact of many raindrops hitting his bedroom window. Then he remembers with a sick feeling in his stomach: his mother is gone forever and his life is suddenly on pause.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> I'm writing this little oneshot – which I'm trying to keep at least 1,500-2,000 words maximum and that's hard for someone like me – before my summer ends and I can't write anymore. And this kid has officially grown on me. I just wanna hug Kyle through my television. I didn't like Diane when she was banging the next guy with the fattest pockets and being manipulative, but I did like her most as Kyle's mom. It made her human to me.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> No – clearly not because if I did, everyone would know that Patty Williams killed Diane and smashed her head to bits. Lord knows Patty had enough rage towards Diane to do something like this. And TPTB are seriously missing an opportunity to bring Stacy Haiduk back. And surprisingly, Maura West grew on me because I never watched her as Carly on _As The World Turns_.

* * *

><p>Kyle's entire life, he remembers, always is full of movement –<p>

– like being torn in between waking up to see the CN Tower pointy top from his bedroom in the two bedroom apartment in downtown Toronto and waking up in his bedroom at his dad's large house.

The first sound Kyle hears is the light impact of many raindrops hitting his bedroom window.

Then he remembers with a sick feeling in his stomach.

(His mother is gone forever and his life is suddenly on pause.)

.

Stars litter a Swiss night sky when Dad walks into his room (where here's Timothy Bilton from Missouri and he can't breathe a word about being Kyle from Genoa City) and tells him the mother he loves so much is dead.

He wishes on glittering star that it's not true, and when there's the longest pause Kyle has ever experienced in his eleven year old life, a tear runs his face.

"So," Kyle says, as he sniffles because Mom wouldn't want him to cry. She'd want him to be brave and be strong. He can't turn away from the window until Kyle wishes on every star. His mother is still alive and she'll call, promise to love her forever and always. But even so, Kyle clenches a fist to stem his trembling and there's another tear that rolls steadily down his cheek, "I'll never see my mom again."

"I'd rather you heard it from me than somewhere else. I'm so sorry."

Kyle finally turns around, looks into his dad's eyes and yeah, it's true – his mother is really gone, so he runs into the arms of the parent he has left.

.

Star light, star bright, wish my mom would come back tonight –

Well, at least Kyle tries, he thinks as he sits quietly in a car that's being driven to the airport under a sky that's just starting to show the signs of an oncoming sunrise and fading stars.

.

"Are you okay?"

Kyle shakes his head no, rests it on the cool window.

"Not really."

He's not stupid enough to know that his mom and dad don't exactly like each other and aren't the best of friends. Kyle watches Jack through peripheral vision – the way his dad's jaw is set and locked, his blue eyes distant and hard, mouth pressed together in a thin line and the way Dad interlocks his hands so tightly the knuckles start to turn white.

"Hey, dad – are _you_ okay?"

Jack sighs, and claps a firm hand on Kyle's shoulder, "I don't know how I feel right now, but we'll figure it out," he smiles lightly and Kyle returns it with a wary smile of his own because they'll always keep lying to him to protect him.

"Okay."

(Nothing will ever be the same again.)

.

Here's some things about Diane that only Kyle knows and holds on to with a vice-like grip: her full name is Diane Louise Jenkins, her favourite colour is coral blue and her favourite flowers are purple chrysanthemums.

She makes her special macaroni and cheese on Thursdays, sits in the stands during practices and games on Fridays, watches Hockey Night In Canada on Saturdays with him even when Mom doesn't know a lick about hockey and muses about Don Cherry not possibly wearing those flashy suits because he wants to.

They go through Toronto's winding subway system all the way down to Union Station for Sundays and treats his favourite girl (she's the best mother in the world) to lunch.

.

Kyle loves his life in Toronto – it's simple, even when he watches his mom stress over the bills that seem to pile up at the end of the month, like being an architect isn't enough. But yet they get by.

He loves his life in genoa City, loves Walnut Grove, loves getting to know his Abbott Family and the idea of seeing his dad more because it's been a long time and phone and e-mails aren't the same, but at the time, it's a double-edged sword full of complications.

.

_You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Kyle._

.

Dad and Mr. Newman argue again while his mother's name is thrown around and there's yelling and phrases like _bludgeoned_ and _ten times_ and _visitation_.

Then, "You try it, and you'll see how far, I'll protect my boy!" (Dad.)

"We'll see what the courts say when you're convicted of murdering Diane Jenkins." (Mr. Newman.)

"Get out of my house." (Dad.)

.

Kyle doesn't know anything these days, whether the person who takes his mother away is a complete stranger he'll probably hate for the rest of his life, or a person he loves and cares about – he's not sure which is worse – but even he knows that this feud is too epic not to go over his head.

And besides, it's easier to play the part of the wide-eyed, naïve kid just woken from sleep when in reality, Kyle may be a budding insomniac. He's honestly reaching that point.

So, he pads downstairs, down the long winding staircase into the living room, preparing to say his lines, have his mental cues and having the script that the adults in his life make so easy to access.

.

"What's going on?"

"Kyle," Jack assures softly, because that's what they all do, "it's nothing to worry about."

"But I heard my mom's name," he presses back, crossing his arms about himself and glancing in between his father and a man Kyle has honestly come to respect and even like. He likes Mr. Newman even though his dad doesn't the most of all. "I wanna know."

Mr. Newman crosses over to where he is, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Kyle, I was just coming by to extend my condolences."

"Thanks, I guess," he tries to smile genuinely, but it's nice of him to do that, at least.

"Your father and I were just talking business so please try not to worry. And get some rest."

Kyle catches a quick glance between the both of them and if the situation doesn't completely suck right at this moment, he'd laugh to himself and wait for Jack's head to explode clear off his shoulders. And Mr. Newman to bust out a Darth Vader suit or something. But everything sucks and nothing is remotely funny to him.

"Yeah," Dad agrees, tone hard but softening a little. He nods, toward upstairs. "You head on up, and I'll up soon to tuck you in, okay?"

"Okay."

Kyle throws a _goodnight_ out there, and turns around, padding up the winding staircase to his room.

(What a good little actor he is.)

.

Here's something Kyle knows for a fact as he deflates in his bed and sees his mother's smiling, tear-streaked face clearly in his head before he pushes back tears himself: nothing is ever just business between those two, and they should know that he knows that. He's eleven years old and far from needing everything to be sugarcoated for him.

.

Today, Kyle can see his mother's face clearly as she's standing there and Kyle can reach out and hug her tightly and never, ever let go.

But what about the day after, or the year after, or ten years after?

He's worried about reaching out to hug the fading remnants of his mother only to brush air.

Kyle's always worried about that.

So, he clutches the last thing his mom ever gives him, its cool surface pressing into his palm and his fingers curled around the bracelet with the his jersey number 11 carved permanently into the gold, smooth surface.

"I miss you, Mom. I love you," Kyle whispers quietly, sadly to his bedroom ceiling and prays his mom gets it. And she's okay wherever she is – if there is a Heaven to begin with.

.

Bludgeoned means being hit; hard and repeatedly as if someone hates his mother so much that they're so angry enough to hit his mother and split her head open or something.

Mom is hated by enough people to die the way she does, Kyle knows that.

The thought sends a cold chill down Kyle's back and a stab of anger goes through him unexpectedly – like the way Kyle feels when Phyllis' blog says his mom does all of those bad things, like when he skips school and hops the city bus with the change in his pockets and has a conversation with his uncle Billy at Restless Style that really doesn't go anywhere, because that article isn't coming off.

So, because Kyle doesn't like Phyllis anyway, he spills coffee all over the surface of her stupid laptop.

(That's for Mom, and it's sad that mud and the occasional dirty look isn't enough.)

Grounding for a week from his dad doesn't faze him.

.

"You're a good son, Kyle."

"Does that mean I'm not grounded as Dad says?"

She gets the beginnings of a smile on her face, pressing a kiss on his cheek, "No," Diane pauses, and Kyle groans, loudly, "Even though Phyllis deserved it, that's not the way to defend my honour. Now, go get started on that math homework."

He starts that homework but doesn't want to finish but Mom comes by, and helps with it like always – just like in Toronto, when it's simple and easy and she's still alive.

.

"I want to see my mom."

"There are some memories you're not supposed to have," Jack says, and takes the newspaper away, setting it on the table because the pictures of Diane as a pale corpse, a shell of the personality she is in life, no matter how mischievous and scheming she is, isn't something Kyle should handle, let alone see.

But Kyle looks back at him, defiant and replies, "You know I could just go online and look anyway. Town Park is across the street from here. I, at least, deserve to see where she was killed, don't I?"

"Of course, I think you do. But I don't think you can handle seeing something like that."

"She was my mom," Kyle argues, not caring if this gets him in trouble. "I have to see it."

Kyle – "

"Dad, I know where it is. I'll just go by myself if you won't take me – "

Jack relents when a pang of sad nostalgia hits him and John's picture seems to smile at him, implore him to take Kyle to the park where Diane is killed (read: not by Jack, because murder is the Newman forte) from it's still captured position in a mahogany wooden frame.

"Okay," he finally says, looking down at Kyle and hugging him. "We'll go."

.

Kyle has been to this park many times with Hayden – sometimes with the guys after baseball practice as he practices his pitching. But today, he glances up as the sky is gray, clouds rolling by and full of rain, waiting to fall. His shoes lightly crunch the grass underneath the soles and as he glances around, the world continues to move, continues to function, continue to breathe and yet, someone takes his mother away senselessly and it's not fair.

He clutches the stem of a blooming purple flower, freshly plucked out of the garden and brings it to his nose, inhaling. The scent reminds Kyle of what his mom smells like when she puts on her special perfume to go out on Sundays with him and now, she'll never wear it.

Kyle follows, visualizing the yellow police tape all around where children play and parents protectively watch. He can still see where his mom floats face dead, according to his newspapers, and he clenches his jaw to keep his bottom lip from trembling and his eyes from shedding tears. Even though he can feel them pushing quickly up to the surface, he lets out a shaky sigh and Dad looks at him, concern written all over his face like a book ready to be read.

"The minute you decide you can't handle being here or it's too much, we'll go."

Kyle holds the flower more tightly, offers what he hopes is somewhat of a smile so Dad stops worrying. Mom does that in spades.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

He follows Jack to the footbridge of the park, as Kyle leans out slightly towards the sound of the water rushing quick and fast enough for anything to be swept away.

This is it.

"This," Kyle observes, as he swallows to get rid of the catch in his throat, "this is where they found her, right? Floating face down?"

His dad doesn't look at him but nods slowly, "Yeah – they found her here."

Kyle breathes, deeply, not sure whether to have a belief in the afterlife or not. It's comforting, but at the same, too painful and Kyle prays that the police find whoever did this – takes away the constant parent in his life and the mother he adores more than anyone will ever care to understand or know.

.

"Dad, is there a heaven?"

"I like to think so," Jack answers, relieving the day his dad and niece both die, simultaneously. The smallest part of him feels terrible for lying but for Kyle's sake, Jack will lie a thousand times over. He and Diane have their issues but he respects Diane in the sense that she loves their son enough for the both of them. But yet, quiet rage pounds through him, fingers itching to strangle her for sending his son to a Swiss boarding deeply buried in Bern's countryside and then taunting him about it and the idea that Victor lay claim on his kid because of what Diane says on a freaking document makes Jack mad enough to spit on this woman's grave. But not mad enough to put Diane in one in the first place.

But there will always be Kyle and he'll be damned if she takes Kyle away from him from beyond the grave.

"I hope she's there," Kyle says, and a light wind ruffles his head of hair, while Jack remembers to unclench his jaw and not visibly scoff at the idea. At the same time, Jack can relate to losing a parent and never quite believing it to be true.

"Yeah, with your grandfather, and your cousin, Colleen," Jack offers as assurance, and sighs, looking out over the footbridge. He meets Kyle's gaze and says softly. "Your mom and I had our differences and she did a lot of wrong things, but I don't doubt for a minute that she loved you with everything she had."

Kyle smiles.

.

"Thanks for saying that stuff, Dad. I just miss her."

"You have to know that I love you so much," Jack puts a hand on his lightly on his head. "She knows you miss her. She must know that."

He knows.

"I love you, too."

.

For the first time, since feeling like someone robs him of the best mother, and the best person in his blue eyes, Kyle feels closer to his mother.

He drops the flower into the bubbling creek, watching as the purple flower is slowly carried away, leaving a trail of one or two purple petals behind to float freely.

.

It rains when Kyle gets home, the steady pittypat of raindrops ever persistent against his windowpane.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, I don't like this – but I feel like I got into Kyle's head with dealing with the initial shock of losing his mom with some Jack on the side. **

**Tell me how I did. I'd appreciate it. **

**Happy Monday!**

**-Erika**


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